Kathleen, I'm an older man and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It's only that all the younger men approaching senior women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. Sluts near Queensland Australia. They just show interest in men their very own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look youthful for 48, run my own successful business, know how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I am really busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no real dates. I decided women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Just to check I wrote to rather older women and not as appealing than myself. Sluts Near Me The Gap Queensland. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every woman. Attempted all sorts of graphics. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I have had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women look interested but they don't respond. Just do not comprehend this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm loath to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good buddies. Sluts near Darlington. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. I have noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It's as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys desire, (normally 35-50) I regularly go past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a few of these men, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desired range, I still don't get much of a response. I presume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built-in folly of online websites: you're only defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, play-free, and easygoing. Sluts nearest Darlington. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mother/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can locate some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying). Sluts nearby Darlington Australia.
Quit Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained mostly of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. Sluts nearby Darlington, QLD. There isn't any point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a website for that). So while I am certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Far too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a desire to be nice and not appear rude, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great dismay that she just could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his connections to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want an excellent man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photographs with way too much cleavage. Now, that's absolutely fine - I don't have any difficulty at all with this, and I'm sure many men do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamor shots and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we are on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly love them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men as well, of course). The matter is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram photos because several of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. Sluts Near Me Crestmead Queensland. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Why? Because my eyes aren't actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous criticism among the guys I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photos, I 've a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is so significant. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to deal with way too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) merely serve to fortify them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them. Darlington sluts.
Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can not say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a guy standing next to an open bathroom, or even a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you are doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, should you not have a selfie stick, take your profile photo the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your car. Darlington QLD sluts. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. Should you not have a single friend who can take your photograph, or you don't possess a smartphone, then you probably should not be dating in the first place.
I'm not the only one finding these trends. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the issue of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men because I sensed they were really nice guys. And let us just say that I wasn't surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of infrequently receiving e-mails from women, of their e-mails often going unanswered. I liked to grab these guys by their shoulders, and give them a strong (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant promotion techniques. But I have consistently resisted the temptation to do so out of a anxiety about seeming rude and ill mannered.
A few of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a few gasp-worthy photographs. Sluts nearby Darlington Queensland. These profiles can be a wonderful source of amusement, particularly when wine is included. However, what I find somewhat troubling are some fairly distressing trends I've noted in many men's profiles who seem to be quite regular otherwise. I do empathize, really. Many of us are dating novices, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a particular degree, unsure of what the other sex is searching for, or how to get their attention. However, these gaffes are really so clear that I think it's time someone opens a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?