I have the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can gather much about a woman from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with answers from poor matches that they become exasperated and start to set borders; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature girl will recognize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Clearly men can often act the same way, just wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is the fact that many folks merely blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a relationship. Sluts near me Forest. Sluts in Forest, TAS.
Debby, you are discussing rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't good with a much younger woman. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it's all about a cynical cash grab, I have to inform you we old guys, like some elderly women attract the opposite sex. Sluts Near Me Waratah Tasmania. Sluts near Forest Tasmania. Sadly, many don't attract the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. But there are certain ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically say what she offers a guy (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually none of them really state what they provide a guy. Normally, itis a record of demands and preferences. This is not good marketing. A lady should have the ability to answer the question What do I provide a man he desires?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Kathleen, I am an older guy and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It is merely that all the younger men approaching old women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. Sluts Near Me Richmond Tasmania. They just reveal interest in guys their very own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful business, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm really active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Merely to check I wrote to rather mature women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every woman. Tried all kinds of graphics. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested however they do not answer. Just do not comprehend this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Sluts nearby Forest. I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. I have seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men want, (typically 35-50) I frequently go past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a few of these guys, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a reply. I presume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a college honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of on-line sites: you are just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle aged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Forest sluts. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Cease Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained chiefly of grievances about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a site for that). So while I am certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can keep our favorable expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Much too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a want to be nice and not appear ill-mannered, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great dismay that she just could not trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could only no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a good guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting pictures with far too much cleavage. Now, that is completely excellent - I have no trouble at all with this, and I'm certain many guys do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor shots and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly love them), but I do think it is important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are employing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys also, of course). The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
No. Forest Sluts. More. Instagram. Pictures. I really like Instagram photographs because many of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my online dating profile? No I do not. Why? Because my eyes aren't actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) pictures. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a huge gripe among the guys I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photographs, I have a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is really important. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to deal with much too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) merely function to strengthen them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I ran myself. Sluts nearest Forest Tasmania. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can't say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a man standing next to an open bathroom, or even a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you're doing something fun (like fishing or watching football). Sluts near me Forest, Tasmania. Or, in case you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile photograph the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your automobile. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event you don't have a single friend who can take your photograph, or you don't possess a smartphone, then you likely should not be dating in the first place.